~ Revelation...or confession...not sure which one it is~

(Let me just preface this by saying I do not judge anyone else if their mommying style is in any way, shape or form, different than mine.  This is just ME)

{this is an example: I am just soaking in the wonderment in Ben's face as he watches Turtles for the first time.  Bonus: I caught it on camera so that I can enjoy it forever!}

When I thought about this revelation/confession in my head it sounded so positive and enlightening.  Now that I am writing about it, it seems to have taken on a more negative feel.  Oh well, let me begin with it already!
I took Ben to the Zoo yesterday.  Just Ben and I.  Being with him, all by myself (or with Tom), I can tune into him and enjoy his every reaction and turn every moment into a learning experience or just a funny moment between the two of us.  If I am with another mom and her child, I either A) Ignore Ben in order to listen to the mom or B) ignore the mom and her child and concentrate on Ben.  I haven't figured out the balance.  When Ben was not mobile, I loved being with other moms and gathering bits of helpful information and getting out of the house to sit at a park.  Now, I just feel guilty for not being present in the conversations, and for missing out on whatever Ben is enjoying.  I know when he gets a little bit bigger I won't have to hold his hand on the playground equipment or pick him up when he falls, but right now, I LOVE being alone with him and enjoying all of the muma & Ben or muma, dada & Ben moments.  I like seeing my friends and I love seeing my friends that have babies, too, but more often than not, I like to go on adventures alone with Ben.  Call me a hermit.  Call me selfish.  Call me whatever you want, but for now, I am loving this path while it lasts.  I never thought I would enjoy being a muma this much. I cherish the days I have with him while everything in his world is new and amazing.
I am embracing this revelation and will not be ashamed of it any longer.  I will no longer make excuses for it and accept it for what it is.  It is my bliss right now...to enjoy his every smile, laugh, realization, milestone and will never have any regrets about missing out on a special moment.  There!  I said it for all the world to see! 

To now give you some comic relief, I must share this video again...(Thank you to my dear friend, Amy for sharing this link!)

AND YES, THE VIDEO IS SUPPOSED TO SOUND ROBOTIC

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSEPA6TIgzc&feature=player_embedded
if you can't see the video, just go to you tube and type in "Why I can't Make Mom Friends"